Sexting Can Be Beneficial: Here's When and How

 

Sexting Can Be Beneficial: Here's When and How

Sexting has a bad reputation, and for good reason. Many people have gotten into trouble by sending sexual thoughts and photos via text, email, chat, or social media. It is also not acceptable to send or receive a sexual message if you are underage, cheating, or intentionally exposing someone else without their permission. However, if the recipient is a trusted partner and you proceed with caution, sexting may be the ideal way to overcome inhibition and add excitement to each other's day.

If you're still not sure what sexting is – or why it can be beneficial: Sexting is a direct, flirtatious, sexy text that expresses your desire and attraction to your partner. It could even be as explicit as a sexy self-portrait. The beauty of sexting – and what makes it superior to phone sex – is that the communication is not instant – there is a delay that allows the recipient to formulate a clever response. Because women sometimes require more time to become aroused, she may discover that having control over the pacing of the sexting allows her to go slowly enough to allow her body to feel eroticism build.

Here are some basic pointers to get you started:

Where do I begin?

Sending a sext may be enough to start the fun in some relationships. However, if you are in a long-term marriage or partnership and have never used sexting, it is a good idea for you and your partner to discuss how each of you feels about receiving or sending sexual thoughts on a permanent mechanism ahead of time. You must decide whether sexting will include explicit photos of each other and what you will do with them once they are received. You'll need to decide whether to delete the texts or photos right away to protect them from prying eyes, or whether to let your partner savour them for later. Discussing ground rules ahead of time also keeps your partner from feeling surprised, vulnerable, or even invaded when an unexpected, highly sexual message interrupts their day. So, before you text, make sure your partner is ready and willing to engage in this exchange to avoid the vulnerability of one partner sending a sext and receiving no response. 

When should you sext for maximum effect?

If you and your partner have agreed to begin the sexy conversation, decide on a time that works for both of you. For some, the entire thrill of sexting is its disruptive nature, a shocking awareness of their partner's sexual needs, desires, and fantasies. However, if your partner is with children who may have access to the phone or is in a boardroom about to make a presentation, a miscalculation in timing could be embarrassing (at best). Couples in my practise frequently sext on Fridays to focus their minds and bodies on the upcoming date night and future love-making.

What are you going to say?

Starting by complimenting your partner's body and appearance is a good place to start. Commenting on recent or previous sexual encounters that were particularly hot can give you the confidence to add a fantasy for the future. Sexting is a great, positive way to instruct your partner on proper technique by explicitly requesting specific touches. Sexting is a unique tool for shaping better sex because it allows you to suggest how an encounter should unfold, where you want it to take place, and what the encounter should be like.

Lowering your inhibitions and writing directly and succinctly about sexual feelings can be difficult, but risk is what keeps sex alive and fresh.

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