Sex Therapy: What to Expect

 

Sex Therapy: What to Expect

If you're like most people, you probably never imagined yourself making an appointment with a sex therapist. So, when your doctor or a friend suggested it, you might have been a little hesitant (and maybe even surprised to learn such a specialist exists). You may be concerned that a sex therapist will make suggestions or assign tasks that are outside of your comfort zone or even your moral boundaries. However, sex therapy is about exploring what YOU want rather than imposing an ideal standard.

To put you at ease before your appointment, here's a little more information about sex therapy and what you can expect to experience:

• Sex therapists are medically trained individuals.

Sex therapists are licenced relationship counsellors who have additional sexual functioning training and certification. Their expertise includes making people feel at ease when discussing sex.

• Sex therapy is a type of talk therapy.

You'll sit in a room set up like a living room, complete with couches, chairs, and lamps, and simply discuss the issues you've been having in the bedroom. Sex therapy does not involve any exams, nudity, or sexual touching.

• Relationship History

In sex therapy, you will discuss your overall relationship – how you communicate, what frustrations and stressors exist, and your strengths and challenges. Sexual issues are frequently more relational than physical in nature. Sex occurs within a relationship, and the complexities of a couple's issues all contribute to sex feeling either strained and boring, or meaningful and alive.

• Sexual Background.

You'll be asked about your childhood and what your family told you about sex – both in "birds and bees" talk and in spoken and unspoken rules about their sexual mores. Our first sexual experiences frequently have a significant impact on our future expectations. It is also necessary to investigate recurring issues that have arisen in previous relationships. And, of course, any childhood or adult sexual trauma must be investigated. It is also important to discuss the explicit details of what really happens in the sexual experience between you and your partner later in therapy so that your therapist can understand what is going wrong.

• Sex therapy is reasonable.

Often, one partner in a relationship views sex as the primary means of feeling connected, whereas the other partner may need to feel emotionally connected first before engaging in sexual intimacy. Both sides of the debate are valid, and a good sex therapist is sensitive to these differences.

• Respect for each other's moral values and differences.

Your therapist should be sensitive to your cultural and religious traditions. Similarly, you should not feel judged or condemned if you have different ideas, fantasies, or actions than your partner or therapist. The therapist should be strong enough to assist the couple in resolving difficult impasses while upholding their values.

• Development.

Changing your sexual life necessitates some difficult steps. You will frequently be asked questions that will force you to question your preconceived notions about sex. Your sexual conflicts with your partner will have to be discussed openly, despite the therapist's efforts to mitigate them. After much deliberation and evaluation, you may be assigned sexually explicit homework. It is critical to be honest about your willingness or resistance to any assignment. Specific techniques to treat specific sexual dysfunctions will necessitate your participation.

• You can expect sex therapy to be similar to any other counselling experience, but it will be focused on your intimate relationship with your partner. Talking about sex is difficult; it is not something we normally discuss in social situations. We may believe that everyone else has more frequent and exciting sex than we do, so we are hesitant to bring it up. But, in reality, everyone has sexual problems at some point in their lives, and sex therapy can often help you re-establish a satisfying relationship in the bedroom.

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