Men's Sex Addiction Warning Signs

 

Men's Sex Addiction Warning Signs

Although most people are aware that sex addiction exists, many are unsure of what it entails. Sexual addiction is defined as sexual behaviour that has become compulsive – not just for the sake of pleasure – and results in negative consequences that seriously disrupt a person's relationships and work. While sex addiction frequently involves sexual contact with one or more people, people may be classified as addicted due to excessive use of pornography, internet channels such as chat rooms, or sexting with strangers. For example, if a man begins to watch pornography for hours on end, he may come to believe that porn truly represents the way real people make love. As his expectations rise, he loses interest in the wife he previously found sexually appealing. Work and family seem dull in comparison to his desire for sexual excitement.

To be clear, sex addiction is not solely a male issue. Sexually compulsive behaviour affects a small percentage of women. Women typically experience sex addiction in a different way than men, so we'll focus solely on men in this post.

Here are five signs that a man is addicted to sex:

• Loss of enthusiasm for one's current sexual partner.

When a man abruptly stops wanting sex, it can seriously strain the relationship. Certainly, each partner has different levels of desire, and it can be difficult to align those. However, a complete withdrawal from the sexual relationship for an extended period of time can be a warning sign that his sexual energy is diverting elsewhere.

• Sexual dysfunction is characterised by a loss of sexual function.

Many young male patients in my practise who entered therapy to address erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation during intercourse are experiencing these issues as a result of their pornographic habits. When a man sees a lot of erotic images before the climax, his dopamine levels skyrocket to an exhilarating level that cannot be matched in sex with his partner. In essence, he begins to condition his body to require these high levels of arousal, and his ability to function with a partner may suffer as a result.

• A lot of time is spent on sexual activities.

When a man's pornography habit begins to consume large amounts of time, such as sleep or working hours, he most likely has a compulsion. He could be compensating for depression, for example, and his behaviour could be rooted in something other than sex addiction. Whatever the reason, he requires assistance at this point.

• He ignores his responsibilities.

If his sexual activity interferes with his relationships with his spouse, family, or work, sexual behaviour has most likely become a compulsion. And if he takes risks that would alert his employer's human resources department (flirting with coworkers, masturbation at work, viewing pornography on work servers), the danger of the compulsion has increased to the point of jeopardising his livelihood.

• An increase in sexual danger.

While I do not believe that pornography is a "gateway drug," if a man believes that his use of porn is out of control, he should seek therapy. When his need for sexual thrills has progressed from a dirty book to a porn habit, to live chat rooms, to stranger pick-ups, escorts, and/or prostitutes, his risk-taking has outgrown his control. Any illegal behaviour – exposure, peeping, up-skirting, child pornography, or paid sex – requires immediate action. Break the spell – these aren't sexy activities.

What should we do about it? If you notice any of these symptoms, it's time to see a sex therapist or a psychiatrist and possibly consider inpatient treatment.

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